Assets?! I Don’t Have To Show You No Stinkin’ Assets!

Posted inThe Daily Heller
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There’s something to be said for knowing and speaking the same language. It’s good to be on the same page, so to speak. But there are moments when the same language and page are embraced by everyone and that’s when argot (a.k.a. jargon) is hatched. I don’t know who came up with the words “stakeholders” or “assets” as relates to design in the digital age, but I’m getting mighty tired of hearing them. What’s worse, I’m even using them — and so are others who have nothing to do with IT.

Goya had the right Idea: Sit on your assets.

Goya had the right Idea: Sit on your assets.

Here are a few examples:

At dinner: Would one of the stakeholders pass the assets?

At the doctor: Get undressed and a stakeholder will test your assets?

At the garage: Are you the stakeholder whose assets have the flat tire and dead battery?

At the Time/Warner replacement center: Would the stakeholder number 23 pick up his assets?

At OfficeMax: Will the next stakeholder bring his assets to register 3, and have a great day?

Well, they can all sit on their assets as far as I’m concerned. I’m mad as heck, and I’m not going to say it anymore!

Print’s February IssueDon’t miss the newest issue of Print, the Sex & Design issue, which takes a tasteful look at issues surrounding sex and design. Read even more by Steven Heller, such as his feature article that explores the relationship between sex and advertising through the years, as well as his Dialogue and Evolution columns.