“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Cancer anymore,” Dorothy might have said in “The Wizard of Oz,” if she were alive, if she were born between June 22 and July 22, and if she heard the most heaven-shaking branding story in recent memory, that all the Astrological signs moved over by around a month. Yes, dear star-googlers, if you were Cancer, you are now Gemini. And if you dawned in the Age of Aquarius, you are now a bewildered Capricorn. It is like if Coke became Pepsi.
The Gawker made many who believe in horoscopes look at the heavens in disbelief when it ran the following:
“Astronomers have restored the original Babylonian zodiac by recalculating the dates that correspond with each sign to accommodate millennia of subtle shifts in the Earth’s axis. Prepare to have your minds blown, all you people with easily blowable minds.”
The Zodiac signs have not been redesigned – yet – but the dates that dozens of telephone astrologers have sworn by for years, are now up for grabs.
If your annoying tics could be explained by your “sign,” think again. Either you have to change your behavior, because your sign has shifted, or someone has to rewrite the guidelines of who is what under which sign.
So if you are not sure who, what or where you are in the solar system, here’s Gawker’s Zodiac updated list (take that you pain in the butt Pisces!):
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.
* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.