Interview with the 2011 Baby

Posted inThe Daily Heller
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Sat Eve Post cover by JC Leyendecker

With a lot of time on his agenda between Christmas and New Year, Old Man Time is one of the easiest to get interviews in the business. The New Year’s Baby, conversely, is in such demand at this time of the year that he/she’s been too busy to speak on or off the record. Finally, however, I scored a few precious minutes with Baby 2011 before assuming his/her duties. Here is a precious excerpt:

Daily Heller: I’ve always wanted to know, do you have a name?

Baby 2011: Goo Goo.

Daily Heller: Is that your name, or haven’t you learned to speak English, yet?

Baby 2011: Gaa Gaa.

Daily Heller: Don’t you think Gaa Gaa is a bit too derivative of a contemporary chanteusee?

Baby 2011: Gur . . . Gurgle, Glop . . .

Daily Heller: Does Old Man Time discuss the past and future with you before you take office?

Baby 2011: Coo coo coo.

Daily Heller: Hmmmm. Do you know where Old Man Time goes when his time is up?

Baby 2011: Dada, dada.

Daily Heller: What is the future of graphic design?

Baby 2011: Oy Ma ma

Daily Heller: Thanks for the time. But do you think we can resume in March, when you’ve developed some language skills?

Baby 2011: Ploppppphat (giggles).