The Daily Heller: An Xmas Quiz. First, an Easy One

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Who was the first artist to make the Santa Claus image?

a. Thomas Nast

b. Haddon Sundblom

c. Brad Holland

d. Jackson Pollock

Does Santa Claus have a criminal record?

a. Yes

b. No

c. Charges were dropped

d. All records are sealed

What is Santa Claus best known for?

a. Surveillance of children

b. Making blacklists

c. Determining as judge and jury who’s naughty and nice

d. All of the above

What does Santa Claus do to earn a living?

a. Rings bells on street corners

b. Takes from the rich and gives to the poor

c. Trains orphans that he calls Elves (from the word Eloi) to work in his factory

d. Blackmails children

Whose visual image is based on Santa Claus?

a. Gabby Hayes

b. Karl Marx

c. ZZ Top

d. David Letterman

Why does Santa Claus have rosy red cheeks?

a. He drinks

b. It’s blush

c. He suffers hypertension, causing facial vein disorder

d. Don’t know, I’ve never seen him without his trousers

What was Santa Claus’ calling when he was younger?

a. Kiss as many women folk as possible under some kind of greenery

b. Join a religious order with a vow of silence

c. Hunt deer, butcher them and sell their carcasses and antlers

d. Be an industrial or toy designer

What does Santa Claus complain about the most?

a. Having to be jolly all the time

b. Marrying Mrs. Claus

c. Not ever knowing Mrs. Claus’ maiden name

d. Reindeer breath

Posted inThe Daily Heller