The Iguana Monologues

Posted inThe Daily Heller
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It is not the sort of thing I usually do, but this past weekend I went to Puerto Rico to find an Iguana. They are the most graphically designed lizards I’ve ever seen. So, I made a little trek to a sanctuary with the hope of finding one I could study. They are not, however, the friendliest reptiles I’ve encountered. Here is my Instagram Diary:

7:00 am: I knew I was on to something when I saw this well letter-spaced sign.

7:02 am: But first, it is always good to have a hearty breakfast before Iguana tracking.

8:00 am: Iguanas are known to meet-up in rain forests.

8:10 am: Heard noise and caught a glimpse of one lurking behind these roots.

8:15 am: No luck, but did you know coconuts plants grow from coconuts?

8:30 am: Big thingie sighted in tree. Not certain whether it was a bird's nest, ant farm, wasp colony or large truffle. Kept my distance.

9:00 am: Found Iguana hiding on branch of tree trunk. He (she) was poised either to run or pounce. Kept my distance.

10 am: The Iguanas were reticent to be studied. Settled for tiny lizard. Unlike GEICO Gecko, unfortunately, it spoke no English.

10:05 am: As if it heard my call, I saw a big one. Look closely to the left of the tree trunk. He stared into the camera as though he'd been photographed a million times before. Nonetheless, I kept a safe distance.


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