• Steven Heller

Streamline Narratives

Once upon a time, in the lands of milk and honey, industry and technology joined together in richness and health, to give birth to progress, which made the family of man and woman better in almost every possible way. That is as long as they lived in those kingdoms where industrialists and technologists allowed the people who built the factories that used the technologies to make the progress that produced the planes and blimps, boats and trains, cars and buses partake in that better life. Enjoy these very short tales about the epoch of progress known as the Streamline, an age of milk, honey and money.

Speed became the gospel of the machine age, which gave the world its streamline wonders and took most men and women from here to there and back again.

The ocean liner that could … and did … cross the Atlantic in record time made the high seas a safe place in which to frolic. Sadly, however, it also polluted those very harbors where they put into port. Ever wonder where Mr. and Mrs. Waste go?

Mother nature is vengeful when it chooses to be. Before the time of Global Warming, flooding downriver in low-lying areas was common. Airplanes were invented to fly over these disasters to wave and drop supplies, but mostly wave. Thank heavens for the auto-gyro.

The last time a fast train drove down Main Street USA, the townsfolk were so annoyed they colored the engine with mustard-hued crayon. The militarized mobile police knew exactly what to do and stopped the train dead in its tracks.

Oh the humanity. The lighter than air intercontinental passenger balloon, the Hindenburg, had one major flaw, it contained light air—but danger was the price for such a beautiful inhabitable cloud made in Germany.

You’re probably asking, “Why should a bus driver wear riding boots?” Or if you look closely at this picture, you might say, “Why did this bus driver wearing riding boots get the bus stuck under a bridge in the middle of a stream (or a streamline) on which soldiers seem to be oblivious?”

There’s nothing better than having a big boat save a little boat from the swells. Actually, it’s the swells who are on the little boat. So the big boat waited till the little boat capsized before saving the swell survivors.

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