Not the Real Thing

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It is old news in a new can. Cocaine, a high-energy supplement in a can almost the color of Coca-Cola, recalls the days when Coke, invented in 1886 by druggist John Pemberton, was advertised as “a valuable brain tonic and a cure for all nervous afflictions.”

Until 1903, it is rumored to have contained about 9 mg of cocaine per glass. It also contained caffeine, which increased the effects of the cocaine. We all know that its hard to drink just one glass of Coke, and maybe now we know it wasn’t just the addictive flavor.

In 2006, the supplement cocaine was introduced to the already stimulated high energy soft-drink market. (Recently Redux Beverages, the manufacturer has been sending out samples to unsuspecting overachievers.) It includes three distinct flavors–cinnamon plus a ginger-and-wasabi heat sensation–and claims to be three and a half times stronger than other energy drinks with a strong 280 mg caffeine punch. Doing!

But those for whom the brand name may be to strong, written on the can is the following “WARNING: This message is for the people who are too stupid to recognize the obvious. This product does not contain the drug cocaine (duh). This product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.”

Who do you think the real idiots are? Check out video here.