A friend posted something from E! Online about Khloe Kardashian’s “rank for aging slowly” on her Facebook feed last week (and made a very funny joke about it). Yes, it’s clickbait garbage. Also, it had the intended effect, because she laughed about it, and now here I am, sharing it with you.
Hot secret…
Everyone ages at the same rate. The next day, you are one day older than the day before.
It’s crazy how that works!
The story about Khloe’s not-aging genetic anomaly happened to pop into my feed on the heels of an awesome interview for my podcast that I had just done with Karen Walrond, coincidentally…about aging.
More specifically we talked about reclaiming the joy and power to be had in aging, particularly as women — and how it starts in part with taking inventory of the things we do and say that inadvertently diminish that joy and power.
Ever since hearing Walrond speak at her book launch party in NYC last October for her award-winning and truly wonderful Radiant Rebellion: Reclaim Aging, Practice Joy, and Raise a Little Hell, I am far more conscious of the things we (I) think and say that diminish people solely on the basis of age.
Oops, senior moment.
Wow, you were born after 9/11? You’re a baby!
You look great for your age!
Yes, I know all the lyrics to Forever Young because I’M OLD
So… turning 29 again? *wink wink*
Why won’t [older politician you don’t like regardless of capability and effectiveness] retire already?
How is possible that anyone born in 2002 can drink legally?
Look at this guy — can you even believe we’re the same age?
I’m not getting older, I’m getting better.
I still cringe to think back on my kids’ dad saying, “Okay, Grandma” every time I turned on Sirius/XM 1st Wave in the car. Or how he’d laugh, “Sorry if I don’t want to listen to Ella Fitzgerald. I’m not 100.”
Our age difference was his go-to joke insult when he needed one.
I was 35. He was 27.
But in fairness to him, he didn’t make up “Grandma” or “Grandpa” as an insult. And I accepted it as one.
Because it’s pervasive, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we be rethinking that?
Similarly, if we disagree with a group of college students expressing a political opinion, there’s a more impactful way to push back, than, “Oh please, they’re just children.” Or “grow up.” Using age alone to dismiss someone’s thinking, contributions, and value is just lazy.
We’re all at least a little ageist sometimes. It’s so internalized that, like with internalized racism or sexism, Walrond reminds us that we need to work hard to see it, identify it, and extract it in order to reclaim joy.
So, I’m working on it.
Thank you, Karen.
I still miss my 21-year-old collagen-producing superpowers. I miss my boobs staying up all by themselves. I miss my ability to say yes to a weeknight dinner invite at 9:30 p.m. and still make it to work in the morning. I miss the belief that I had decades left for my 401(k) to continue on its happy trajectory and make me a millionaire. (Thanks for ruining that dream for all of Gen X in 2000, W.) I miss my speedy metabolism. I miss knowing the name of every Grammy winner by sight. And yes, I do get a little thrill when people say “you don’t look your age” or “wait…you’re old enough to have a kid in college??”
So yeah. Working on it.
But.
I bet if my 20-something self knew what my today-self has accomplished, I would be jumping out of my Docs, excited in lots of ways that one day I’d find myself here.
Liz Gumbinner is a Brooklyn-based writer, award-winning ad agency creative director, and OG mom blogger who was called “funny some of the time” by an enthusiastic anonymous commenter. This is a slightly edited version of a post originally featured on her Substack “I’m Walking Here!,” where she covers culture, media, politics, and parenting.
Header image: Unsplash+ with Philip Oroni.
