The Daily Heller: If Trump Doodled With AI, What Would He Doo?

Posted inThe Daily Heller

Given that the president is so fond of architecture, he is fortunate to reign in this AI Era. While AI must never be allowed to encroach on humanity’s creative or critical space, thinking about the prompts Trump might make on ChatGPT is a fine way to pass a few idle moments (and use up my allotment of free prompt-o-tunities).

  1. Build a building that represents ostentatious neoclassical grandeur as large as it can be โ€ฆ

2. Nope. Something grander. Build a building that is gaudy, ostentatious and covered in neoclassical grandeur as tall as it can be, as if it were conceived by Raymond Massey in the movie version of Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead.

3. This time, give me a closeup of its details, with a balcony for an autocrat.

4. Drape the balcony for an autocrat with red-and-blue banners with the letter ‘T’ on them. And give the leader a gold scepter.

5. You nailed it! But I’d like know why you selected the images that you did.

ChatGPT expertly detailed the following design history summary โ€ฆ

Exterior: Excess Turned Monumental

The Facade

  • A continuous wall of colossal Corinthian columnsโ€”each 150 feet tall
  • Not dozensโ€ฆ thousands, wrapping the entire perimeter
  • Made of polished white marble veined with gold

The Steps

  • A grand staircase spanning nearly a mile wide
  • Shallow rise so you process upward, like entering a temple rather than climbing stairs

The Dome

  • Inspired by St. Peterโ€™s, but scaled absurdly
  • Triple-layered: outer marble shell, inner coffered dome, and a hidden structural lattice
  • Crowned with a 100-foot gilded statueโ€”not of a person, but an abstract โ€œideal rulerโ€ figure

Ornamentation

  • Every surface carved: friezes of victories, allegories, mythological scenes
  • No blank space. If thereโ€™s stone, itโ€™s sculpted.
  • Massive bronze doors (each the size of a 10-story building)

Interior: Awe as a Weapon

The Grand Rotunda

  • Diameter: 800 feet
  • Floor: inlaid marble map of the world
  • Ceiling: painted heavens with forced perspective so it feels infinite

Hall of Triumphs

  • A corridor one mile long, lined with statues twice human scale
  • Each statue lit from below to exaggerate power and shadow

Chambers

  • Rooms are never โ€œroomsโ€โ€”theyโ€™re halls
  • Ceilings start at 80 feet minimum
  • Gold leaf, frescoes, velvet, and polished stone everywhere

Acoustics

  • Designed so footsteps echo just slightly too long
  • You always feel small and observed

Urban Context

  • The building sits on an elevated plinth above the surrounding city
  • Radial avenues shoot outward like spokesโ€”everything points back to it
  • Reflecting pools the size of lakes mirror the facade

Philosophy of the Design

This isnโ€™t just neoclassicalโ€”itโ€™s neoclassical turned up to 11 until it becomes surreal.

Key ideas:

  • Repetition โ†’ intimidation (endless columns)
  • Scale โ†’ submission (you feel physically diminished)
  • Symmetry โ†’ control (everything rigid, ordered, absolute)
  • Material โ†’ permanence (stone, bronze, goldโ€”nothing temporary)

6. Design a scepter sitting horizontally with all the symbols of modern-day history.

Posted inThe Daily Heller